" he replied as if totally wrapped up in the moment."I would feel a whole lot more comfortable if you would put those drinksdown so we don't spill them all over the place." I tried to make it sound aslight hearted as I could.He didn't release his hug on my immediately. Then as if he had been snappedout of some kind of trance his arms melted away from my body and he took astep back grudgingly, "Yeah, sorry about that. I, I ah, got caught in themoment." He turned away as if embarrassed and walked over to the dresser,placing the drinks down on flimsy paper coasters. He seemed to be staringat the drinks, "I'm sorry Rachel, it's, well," he chuckled nervously, "it'sjust I haven't been with anyone for a while and I feel like... I feel likewe sort of connected and I..." His voice trailed of and he turned to faceme, he seemed unsure of himself, vulnerable.I wasn't sure what to say, I mean how do you reply to something like that?I felt a little relieved that he too had sensed our 'connection',. So what strikes me particularly now, was when we first agreed to meet. Finally, he would say. But for me, it was a struggle and a risk. Would he like how I looked? If he didn't, then it would mean giving up our friendship and everything that I have come to enjoy with having an online buddy. He reassured me it wouldn't be the case, and that we could still remain in contact, but really I think we all know it just wouldn't be the same. So when it was time, I was a bundle of nervous energy. He parked his car and texted me. I cannot remember how I felt as I walked to the agreed location and opened the car door. "I could hear my hear pounding with every step", or "my stomach was floating" would probably be suitable descriptions, but not accurate and hence my desire to write and record everything now, wrecking erity The car door clicked open and it was dark, except for complicated lights around the dashboard that made it look like an air plane's cockpit, there was music playing. A.
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